Mike Ellis and The City of Trolls
Written by Adrian Deacon
‘If you were ever sold on moving to New Yggdra City from anywhere else in the U.S., you either have the most exceptional Real Estate agent in the world or just that stupid. No sane person would want to willingly live in a city where you have a higher chance of being some Vampire’s snack than being run over by a car. But many don’t have a choice, not since the world of magic exposed itself to the world of humans in January years ago. What was once New York City, god what were those humans smoking, was now home to Yggdrasil and a thousand creatures once thought of as a myth. But you probably don’t give a shit about that. What you give a shit about is what exactly my deal is, right? Well then, all you had to do is ask. My name is Mike Ellis, and I’m a detective. Kind of. I don’t necessarily have a badge. But where I’m from, all you need to do a job is the skills that can get it done. And trust me, I did. This is where this specific case came in, it was June 19th and I was bored as hell. That is until a couple came into my hellhole of an office asking me for my services.’
“Please. Please. We need your help!” begged the mother with her eyes watery with tears as the husband sat beside her looking at Mike with a hateful glare.
‘The glare was common, and it makes sense given my horns and the red mask that hid my whole face. But the case was simple, a missing person’s case that the officers of the city were too busy to deal with. So they came to me, and after an advance payment of two hundred dollars, I went to work. Which involved me getting my black penny coat, slipping on a pair of black penny loafers, and my .44 Magnum Smith and Wesson signed by Clint Eastwood. A gift from my dad. I left the office and hit the streets to find the only person who can tolerate my attitude. That same person just happened to be a former criminal who I helped arrest.’
“Come one, come all! The magnificent Lee is here to amaze and astound you all! Step right up and have your future foreseen and be transported into a world of magic and illusion!!”
‘Lee Gobbs was the smartest con-woman I’ve ever seen. Which makes sense given her heritage as an illusionist, and not the cute ones that sparkle. She’d set up a small stage in Central Park, a good crowd of tourists dumb enough to fall for her scams. I chuckled under my mask as she asked for a volunteer from the audience for her disappearing trick. Fun Fact: It was this trick that got her arrested for the theft of a few wallets.'
“I’m game! Let me come on up!”
‘Her reaction was priceless. She cursed under her breath as she snapped her fingers, taking down the stage and teleporting her audience away. It was always fun to mess with her; someone might call it cruel.’
“The hell do you want, Mike! Can’t you see I’m trying to make an honest living here!”
“Honest living, my ass. You haven’t been honest since the day you cast your first spell. Now then, I need your eyes, ears, and, more importantly, your mouth. I’m running a case and could use your assistance.”
“Yeah, well, I ain’t no snitch! So unless you can pay my rent this month, stuff it!”
“Hey, now. I thought we were friends? Plus, you owe after I helped get you out of jail. Now all I need is information. Do that, and maybe there’s something in your future.”
‘Her raised brow hinted at intrigued. Almost had her, now to seal the deal with a little bonus treat. So from my coat pocket, I pull out a roll of a few hundred dollars. Now I had her, hook line and sinker.’
“Fine. What do you want to know?”
“Glad to see you see things my way. Now then what can you tell me about Maria St. Claire? Her parents stopped by my offices awhile ago, claiming their daughter went missing around two weeks ago. They’re two humans and even gave me a photograph of her, so with your ample knowledge of the streets and the less stellar side of the city. I’d figured to ask you.”
“A human girl, huh? I wouldn’t count on finding her; a human kid is pretty much half of the cities favorite meal. But I did hear something last night at Tolkien’s Pub, something about some kid that they’d found wandering around Baker’s Street.”
“Tolkien’s? I thought you had a life-time ban from that shithole?”
“What can I say they have good wings. So then, head down there and ask for Johnny Veidt. They’ll tell you everything you need to know. Now, my payment.”
‘She held out her hand, and like the gentleman I was, I took out the roll and placed it in hers. She earned it.’
“I can't have my best Civilian Informant out on the streets, so please actually pay your rent. Now, I have a date with a Troll.”
“Good luck to you. Hope you find the girl Mike.”
“Yeah, so do I.”
‘To someone who didn't live in this city, hearing the phrase, “Walk into Troll Town, and you'll leave with a hole where your head was,'' might seem weird. But it was 100% accurate to the small grimy corner of the city. Troll Town was low-end and housed the biggest mafia in all of Yggdrasil. The Pratchett Familia, if you needed shelter from the other families, you came here. But if you came looking for a fight, you'd get a bullet in between the brow faster than you could utter a single word. And luckily, I began looking for trouble. After a quick subway ride into the underground city, I arrived, and within seconds the urge to projectile vomit my lunch came.’
“God, I hate this place.”
‘When I said I hate this place, I meant it for many reasons. One is that this was an underground hub of nothing but criminal scum. If it were illegal, you’d only need to walk less than a block down the street to find someone doing it without a damn. It stunk of everything from cocaine to Pixie Dust. But this is where I was going to find Johnny, even if I didn’t like it.’
“Some company for tonight, stranger?”
“Sorry, I ain’t into Succubi. Keep fishing, though.”
‘It was a small hike to Tolkien's Pub; I stood before the large wooden door. It was open; I could hear the regular drunks partying along inside. Well, might as well make an impact. So I pulled out my gun and took a deep breath.’
“Knock. Knock.”
‘With a large amount of strength, I kicked the door back and pointed my gun forward. Only to be met with the barrels of every patron's gun. Even the bartender held a sawed-off shotgun at my face. Well. This was poorly planned — time for plan B.’
“I'll buy everyone a drink if the guns go down.”
‘Holy shit, they actually listened to me. After almost getting my head blown off and a severe dent in my wallet. I sat at the bar and scanned the room. Nothing too bad. Mostly Brownies complaining about ungrateful humans who never thank ‘em for housework and the Satyr bartender who was two drinks away from a blackout. My only concern was the two Trolls who kept their eyes on me. They were gonna be a problem. Ooh! Free Peanuts.’
“So what’s your poison Mistah? Or can you actually drink anything with that mask on?”
“Just a glass of Dionysus and some info kid. Tell me, has a Mr. Johnny Veidt come through here lately?”
‘At the mention of his name, the entire bar became deader than a zombie. That’s not good. All of their eyes turned to me, I swear I could hear their fingers twitching at the weapons they had in their pockets. Time to bullshit my way out of here again.’
“Nothing bad, I swear. I just want to talk to him. I’m an old friend you see.”
“Oh yeah? Then tell me, if your such good friends, when’s his birthday?”
‘Shit. I had to have an answer and fast. She was reaching for the shotgun under the counter and with how close I was, it’d only take a single shot to send me down the river.’
“Is that it? I mean that’s so easy, I could tell you that in his sleep. Why not try something more difficult?”
‘Her brow raised as she began to think. I almost had her, I was so close to getting out of here.’
“What does he look like?”
‘Shit. I didn’t think to ask Lee for that piece of info. Welp. Now I need to find some way out of this goddamn bar alive. She pulls out the shotgun and aims it at my head, without a second to spare I grab the barrel before she can get a shot off. I lose my right hearing in the process and a Brownie gets the round to the head. I then give her a strong right hook before taking the gun and aiming it at the other patrons.’
“GAK!”
‘I was right about the Trolls. One snuck up behind me before the first shot went off and now had his fist so deep in my stomach that I could feel my spleen hit the back of my throat. He grabbed me by the collar and then threw my sorry ass out the window. My response was appropriate given my situation.’
“Ow.”
‘Listen, when you can think of a better way to describe getting thrown out of the window then call me. But either way, my body was in pain. Getting thrown out of a window isn’t a pleasant thing to experience, especially when it’s via a Troll. Speaking of the big bullheaded brute, he’d snuck up behind me again and grabbed me by the back of my head. Son of a bitch had a grip so tight I could hear my eardrum pop!’
“Talk! Why do you want Johnny?”
“I just wanna talk to him! That’s it! I just wanna talk!”
‘When I tell you how hard it is to fight a Troll, it's honest. His grip starts to loosen slowly, I can finally breathe again. Once his grip loosens, he drops me onto the street before his buddy exits the bar and makes his way over. I slowly stand up and cough out some blood onto my mask.’
“Oh great. Now what?”
‘The two giant bastards toward above me with anger behind their eyes. The one on the right, who started this whole scenario, snorted before grabbing me by the throat and hoisting my ass three feet off the ground. He squeezed my neck with so much strength and pressure that I could slowly feel my esophagus close in on itself. But then, I began to piece it together. This big lug was either trying to knock me out via suffocation or trying to kill me by breaking my neck. Time for an old trick I learned for this exact situation. Take a deep breath, make my limbs go limp, and give my fingers a little twitch for some flare and finish the act off by crunching some peanuts in my pocket.’
“Well did you do it?”
‘His gripped loosened instantly and dropped me like a sack of potatoes. I added to the act going limp and landed with a thump to the ground. They bought it.’
“What now? Do we take off his mask?”
“What does it matter? Just help me dumb his sorry ass in the dumpster.”
‘Fuck. And so they did, but as they hoisted my unconscious body off of the ground I slipped them a small present into their back pocket, my cell phone. Just a thank you gift before they tossed me into the dumpster and slammed the lid over me. I won’t lie, I preferred the smell of trash over the Trolls.’
“Come on. We need to find Johnny and tell him what happened.”
“Sure thing! Let’s stop by a bathroom first, I gotta take a mad whizz.”
‘I waited a few minutes to make sure they’d left, just to make sure I’d be in the clear. Once I heard the sound of tires hit the pavement, I jump out of the trash and brush myself off. It’s probably a bad sign that I’m pretty used to being thrown in a dumpster at my age. Gah! Okay, that rib is broken. Time to call in the backup. So I limp to the nearest Phone Booth and dial the only number I can trust.’
“Hello?”
“Hey, Joanna. Mike. It… happened again.”
‘If you're still with me at this point, you know I don't like this city. Moreover, I hate everyone in general. Well, everyone but Joanna Rose. The only human I've ever willingly hung around. We've known each other for almost a year now, a kind and gentle soul are unusual for someone living in Queens and this girl had enough to share with the whole damn city. We ran into each other when she first moved to this hellhole and I lent her a hand since then she’s been kind of a mother to me.’
“WHAT THE FUDGE HAPPENED TO YOU?!”
‘For both the good and bad that came with it. She pestered me with questions as I threw myself into the back of her piece of shit car. Luckily, as we crossed the bridge back into Manhattan I blacked out from the pain.’
“Mikey? Mikey?!”
“AH!”
‘My eyes opened to the sight of my wooden roof, I could tell via the burn marks from that time I owed my landlord money. I jumped up from the bed and felt my face to see if my mask was still on. I scanned the room and breathed a sigh of relief as I found myself back in my small one-bedroom apartment/office space.’
“Thanks, kid. I owe you one.”
“Please, I owe you a hundred at this point. Now, rest easy and I’ll make you some coffee. Sound good?”
“Joanna Rose, you truly are an angel amongst people.”
‘That kid was a true saint, she took a risk coming to New Yggdra. It certainly didn’t help her relationship with her parents who were very anti-anything unusual, but she wasn’t like them. Hell, when I first met her she was actually talking to a homeless Elf. She was gonna make someone lucky enough happy one day. But that day ain’t today, as for now I still had a case to work on. I groaned as I got up from my bed, damn Trolls punch hard and walked into my living room/the main office. I sat at my desktop and went to work. Joanna came in with a cup of coffee for me and a glass of Orange Juice for herself.’
“Thanks, kiddo.”
“You’re welcome. Although, I wish we’d stop meeting after you call me to drag you out of a dumpster half-dead.”
“What can I say, work-related incidents happen a lot. Be glad it’s only half-dead.”
‘Joanna chuckled, good, I can still make her laugh. But as we talked, I used my computer to open up the find my phone site. Launching up the GPS tracker, Joanna could see my smile underneath my mask.’
“Bingo. Jo’ I’m gonna ask you to lock up for me, I think I’ve found my man.”
“Oh okay. You sure you’re okay going out so soon?”
“Nope.”
‘With that, I put on a new jacket and made my way to my phone’s location. A section of the city that I had a history with. Hell’s Kitchen. For the uninitiated, Hell’s Kitchen was once a den for sinners and the worst of the worst. But after the arise of Yggdra City, it’s now home to the worst of the worst. Including the demons and imps of hell, what was brick and mortar has now been replaced by hellfire and brimstone. So after getting a ride from Joanna, I arrived outside of a small Mercado where the signal came from.’
“Thanks, Jo’. I’d say stay around for the fireworks but for your own safety, I’d suggest going back home.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
‘No.’
“Yeah. I’ll be in and out in a few moments.”
‘I smiled under my mask and squint, hiding the lie behind my face. As she drives away, I wander towards the building.‘Frank’s Shipping & Receiving.’, a local business on the unaware, but at a closer glance one begins to realize two key factors. One was the security, no warehouse requires that many Trolls armed with automatic rifles. Two, Jo’ looked up this place before we arrived. It’s not supposed to exist.’
“Well then, time to go to work.”
‘I snuck towards the back of the building, one guy guarding the only door to the back. I pull my gun from my pocket and plan out how I’ll break-in, the only thing around is a couple of empty crates. So I realize something, I kick the crates down to draw the idiot’s attention towards me, and as soon as he stops in front of me the barrel of my gun finds itself against his temple.’
“Boo.”
“What the?!”
‘I pull the trigger and his kneecap is blown apart. He screams, but only for a brief second before I place my foot against his face. Knocks a couple of his teeth out, I swipe the keys from him and rush towards the door. His friends aren’t far behind, I can hear the heavy feet of the trolls behind me. I open the door and run down the dimly lit hallway that stunk so bad it had to be illegal. I can hear them behind me, they’ve found their buddy and are pissed.’
“There he is! Kill him! After ‘em!”
“Shit!”
‘Luckily, I find a door at the end of the tunnel! I slam my body against the metal door, opening it up for me. What I saw was something that made my stomach turn.’
“Mother of the gods.”
‘There were no words to describe what I saw behind that door. The closest thing I could compare this place too was a prison factory. I couldn’t count the amount of cage’s lying around the floor, and the number of humans, from elderly to infants, trapped inside could break anyone’s heart. Malnourished, scared, and worst of all, none were the girl I was looking for.’
“There you are!”
“Aw crap.”
‘The Trolls had found me, they prepared to shoot me but I reacted fast and put a bullet into the nearest Troll’s stomach stinging him. So I lunged forward, grabbed the gun from his hand and slammed the butt of the rifle into his forehead with a strong amount of force. I then fired and aimed at only their knees to disable them and they’re hands to drop their weapons, I-I want them to be punished but not by me. Once they’re down, I grab the nearest one off of the floor and proceed to get him acquainted with my fists. Each blow lands with a large amount of force and anger. They need to pay for these kids, they don’t deserve this! They don’t deserve to be in cages! We’re not monsters!’
“S-Stop! Please! Stop! I’ll talk! I’ll talk just stop!”
‘I stop mid-swing, I just now notice the blood on my red gloves and shake it off before holding the baster close to my face. I glare into his eyes and proceed to interrogate him.’
“Alright, pal. Talk. Where’s Johnny Veidt and what the hell are you bastards doing here? And do hurry, I’m not a patient man.”
‘I place the barrel of the gun under his chin for extra flare. I can tell by his one working eye quivering that it was working.’
“Okay. Johnny’s here! He’s on the fifth floor, the main office!”
‘Good. There’s the answer to number one. Now, I move the barrel to the left and fired into the air to scare him.’
“And?”
“OKAY! It’s a shipping business! We take the meat and auction them off to the people who can afford it! Oni, Demons, Vampires, you name it!”
“And when was your last shipment?”
“L-Last month.”
‘Good. Maria’s still here somewhere.’
“Okay. Thank you for your services. Sorry for the broken nose.”
“Wait. What?”
‘I slammed the gun against his head and knocked him out. I then make my way towards the nearest elevator and head up to the fifth floor. The entire ride up, I stay silent, check the number of bullets in the Revolver. Five. That should be enough and the Rifle should be good for a couple more kneecaps.’
Ding!
“Welp. Let’s boogie.”
‘Once the door opened, I held out the gun and prepared to fire on whoever stood on the other side. But no one was there, just a hallway and a single wooden door.’
“What the hell?”
‘I keep the gun ready, I move down the hall and prepare myself mentally for whatever lies behind the door. I press my ear against the wood and listen closely. The clattering of chains, the heavy sound of breathing, and the sobbing of a scared child. I’m out of time and have a gun in hand, time to do my job. I smash the doorknob with the rifle and kick open the door. Two guards, more Bridge Trolls, pull out their guns and aim at me. I fire first and cripple them before I see what’s sitting in the center of the room, their hands bound in chains and her mouth gagged.’
“Maria.”
Klik!
‘I then feel the barrel of a gun placed against the back of my head. I’m used to the feeling, and I then hear his voice.’
“You’ve made a big mistake dumbass.”
“Johnny Veidt, I take it?”
“Yeah, my men tell me that you’ve been asking around for me. Care to tell me why?”
“Listen. Even if I did, you’d just put a bullet in the back of my head and finish me off. So, why are you doing this?”
“Doing what exactly?”
“Oh cut the Bond Villain bullshit. Why the hell do you have people in cages Veidt? Do you know what the feds will do to you when they find this?”
“Yeah. That’s why they’re never gonna know. Now, how about you drop the gun and stand still while I end this.”
‘I do what he asks but I’m not gonna lie. This guy’s an idiot. A low-tier human trafficker at best, everyone knows that if you’re gonna kill a man. Frisk him first.’
BLAM!
“AAAHHH!!!”
‘I turned around and fired a bullet into his stomach with my revolver, he’s stunned. I take my chances and I landed a solid right hook to his face before grabbing his gun and aim it at him. My eyes widened in shock. He was human. I snap myself out of it and glared at him in anger.’
“Listen here. You give me the girl, and this ends now. I walk away with her, no one has to get hurt.”
‘Then he did something that I hated. He started to laugh. Laughing like he knew something that I didn’t and was proud of it. His silver-eyes shined as he looked into mine. I then heard a loud bang, followed by a sharp pain in my thigh which knocked me down to my knees.’
“SHIT!”
‘I turned around and behind me was one of the Trolls I had knocked out earlier. He was leaning against the wall and bleeding out through his leg.’
“Did you really think I’d let you walk away from here? Snitch me out to the cops? As if I’d let some masked idiot ruined my little business.”
‘He presses his leather boot against my face and his toothy grin infuriated me. The Troll was exhausted and slumped onto the floor, he’s probably lost a lot of blood and will be in need of some first aid. And Maria. Poor Maria is forced to watch this go down.’
“I won’t lie however, you sure did a number on my boys. It takes skill to not kill anyone. I could use that skill.”
‘He removed his boot from my face and grinned before holding out his hand to me.’
“Trust me. Whoever’s paying you, ain’t worth half of what I and my crew make with a single shipment. Besides, they’re just humans. Not like anyone’s gonna miss them.”
‘I slowly stood back up, hissing in pain before looking Johnny in the eye.’
“How much?”
“Oh, about 10k a shipment. Each might I add.”
‘I said nothing. I just looked at him, the injured Troll, and the crying and terrified Maria. With nothing else, I held out my blood-covered hand and prepared to shake his.’
BANG!
‘Too bad all he got was a bullet to the stomach from the gun in my hand.’
“Go to hell, bastard.”
BANG! BANG! BANG!
‘One bullet left in the chamber. He’s now on the ground bleeding out and clutching his stomach in pain. All I can do is look down at him in anger.’
“I won’t kill you, Johnny. Cause I know that the feds will do worse than I could think of. Just know this.”
‘I leaned in close, with my hand slowly removing my mask and allowing Johnny to see what lies behind my black eyes. He screams in terror before passing out onto the floor due to blood loss.’
“I’ll be waiting for you to come out.”
‘I place my mask back on and look over at Maria. Her eyes crimson from her constant tears. I put my gun away and look down at her.’
“Hi, Maria.”
‘I’m not good with kids.’
“Looks like I found you.”
‘The next day, her mother and father stopped by the office to give me the rest of my payment. They were short by a hundred but I let it slide. I was too tired to hassle the newly reunited family. I won’t lie, this case was unique. It was a bit faster than I anticipated but I know one thing. As I stare at that little human girl, I see the eyes of someone who will be forever haunted by what she saw last night. No one forgets the first time they see a person shot, especially multiple times. But hey, at least she has her Mom and Dad. Not a lot have that.’
“Take care kid. Good luck out there.”
The End